It’s Tuesday or Thursday night, and you’ve been working for countless hours on a hopeless TED talk to the point of mental and physical exhaustion. With what strength you can muster, you turn your head an inch to see your alarm clock, which harshly shows a time just a few minutes after 8 PM, and deviously chimes in your ear, “That’s right, big guy, you just missed dinner at commons. No all-you-can-eat tonight, sucker!” In desperation you slide your impossibly heavy food drawer open to find scraps of pop-tarts and perhaps one sunflower seed, if you’re lucky. It’s not enough for you to go on. All hope for your survival is lost, until you remember…

Tonight is Nacho Night!

             Eight to eleven PM on Tuesdays and Thursdays is a magical time because it is Nacho Night at Roxy’s in East Commons, because hunger (and any claim to a healthy existence) is left at the door. For under three dollars ($2.27 for the Grande and $2.62 for the Extravaganza with meat and beans) and a little time in line, you can have a take-out container full of decadent starch and cheese – and so much more. You will either be terribly full or past your threshold of feeling disgusting when you put your box down.

However, to a green Nacho Nighter, you may find yourself with feelings of anxiety and unpreparedness when you enter that line and see nachos flying and toppings thrown. But do not fret, because you have read this blog post.

First, do not take a tray. Now, there will be a nice person who will take some freshly-made nachos and slap a slab into the Styrofoam box. But this is far from the end of your journey to Nacholand; this is merely the base! Next, you will be asked if you would like extra nacho cheese and fries on your nachos. The correct answer is yes. Following that, you may choose to have beans and chicken/beef for a few cents extra. Lastly, there will be lettuce and tomato topping offered (this is pretty much only as a courtesy), guacamole, which you ought to ask for, and things such a sour cream, jalapenos, salsa, et cetera. Head over to the cashier with your box open so that they may learn about you and your nacho preferences, and give him or her your card. If you neglected to take your fork at the beginning, go get one from where the trays are.

Enjoy your nacho experience!

 


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    Overview

    The informal and disengaging language is tailored for college freshmen, with the aim to both inform and entertain the new student, and hopefully helping them settle into Penn State a little more easily.

    The Menu

    Appetizer

    We start off with a lighthearted piece, and one of my personal favorites, Why Nacho Night is a Special Night. Breaking away from the traditional 5-point critique style, this selection informs the reader while keeping them laughing.

    Main Course

    Next, you'll enjoy one of the traditional entries (rather, entrees,) of Good Eating. Herwig's Austrian Bistro was easily one of the most lively places I have gotten to review. Most of the entries on Good Eating involve this 5-point scale (Taste, Service, Atmosphere, Cleanliness, and Value).

    Dessert

    The last plate, Gems of Penn State Dining Facilities, is a rich, diverse selection of the many eateries on campus. This was chosen, not only because of the high quality word choice, but also to demonstrate how both restaurants and PSU facilities are reviewed, in order to give a holistic outlook for the reader.